Resources and Coaching for Professionals

A Different Kind of Day

When my older daughter was little, from time to time we’d have “one of those days.” I’d have to switch things up. I’d have too much on my plate.

Then, the unexpected would happen. I’d be less present, more distracted, more stressed than usual… and as a very sensitive and intense little one, my older daughter found these days difficult. And she’d let me know, often very loudly and in such a way that didn’t make things any easier for either of us.

Sometimes, I’d have less-than-wise reactions to this. I’m sure you can picture what that looked like. And at those times, my reaction to her reaction did nothing to improve the situation.

We can pull out of the tailspin.

However, sometimes, I did do something that worked. I stopped. I took a deep breath. I disengaged for a moment from what was throwing me off, and I got present with her.

Then, I connected with her and said, “Honey, we’re having a Different Kind of Day.” I framed for her how this moment was different from what we were used to.

I reassured her that we were together in this, and then I set out what this Different Kind of Day was going to look like (as best I could) and how we were going to get through it, together. (Admittedly, I also threw in some incentives along the way to help grease the gears. I excused myself on account of her being little and me being stressed…)

In this way, on many such occasions, we were able to create a stopgap for our Different Kind of Day and move forward.

Days are turning into weeks, months, years?

People, I don’t need to tell you that right now we’re ALL having a Different Kind of Day, perhaps one of the longest Different Kind of Days in the history of the world.

I find myself continuously asking, “How long will this last? What will the world look like when we get to the other side?”

I don’t know. Don’t know who does.

And if it’s your job to support little ones who are particularly sensitive and intense, well then, things have gotten interesting, haven’t they?

We have a responsibility.

I, myself, have sat in training since the start of the quarantine when the instructor implied, or even said, “There are some kiddos who just won’t be able to benefit from online instruction.”

That’s not okay. Because each one of the little ones we’re responsible for is someone’s little boy or little girl (and so are their parents.) And they and their parents need all the help they can get to make it through to the other side of this very long and different day.

We can’t forget them. They don’t deserve to fall through the cracks. And they don’t have to.

It’s our job to hold space for them. To support them in any way we can. And there are SO MANY ways we can.

A solution needs to be found.

Our children with cognitive, developmental, social and emotional vulnerabilities are some of the hardest hit among us. We simply cannot leave them and their families behind.

This goes far beyond IEP mandates and the legal implications. These are human souls that are a vital part of our world.

So then, the question is how? How do we continue the drilling of important skills and providing of immediate, tangible reinforcers that we were able to do when things were “normal”?

How can we provide virtual reinforcers for a child who won’t even stay and attend to the screen? Well, the short answer is: You don’t.

To borrow a phrase from permaculture. Here, as is often the case:

The problem is the solution.

We are not the fulfillment of the needs of the populations with which we work. We are the facilitators of the fulfillment of those needs.

Along with the many challenges that we are all now facing, we have before us an unprecedented opportunity. The students and clients we serve are now spending much more time than they previously did with their parents.

And while this might be a new and unfamiliar perspective for many professional therapists and educators, I have seen over and over that with the proper support, guidance, and intentions, parents are the most powerful catalyst for growth and change in the world of a child.

It’s about gaining a new perspective.

If we, as professionals, can shift our perspective and find our role there, using our expertise to support and guide parents to optimize their child’s development, that’s where the magic happens!

You can find resources here that you can download (into your computer and into yourself) and use right away. You can integrate these into your practice and share them with the families with whom you work.

You got this.

Narrative: Backward Progression

Support is an email away.

If you feel like you need more support, I’m here. I can coach individual therapists and educators to work with families online. Or if you’re a supervisor, principal, or business owner with a team of folks to be trained, I’m here for that, too.

Shoot me an email (julie.meyerowitz@hearmywordsautism.com) right now, and we’ll make a time to talk!